"that little..."

Love Child! approx. 20 weeks!

You know when you've been anticipating something for a while, and then it comes down to the very second before and its like.. OHhhh to bad!.. guess you'll have to wait...another 4 MONTHS!

Well I got my 19 week ultrasound, and the sex remains unknown! But everything went really well, baby is very healthy and very active! I've been feeling little kicks here and there and that is so crazy! It was so neat to see my child just rollin around inside my tummy. Baby was trying to stick its hand in its mouth (but they cannot consciously do that at this age) and it was getting so frustrated and would open up its little mouth and cry and then kick me really hard. ha ha! Love child was being very difficult that day, every time we went to check out 'in between' the legs, baby would cross them really quick. And also the umbilical cord was between the legs. There was no hope, it was as if the baby was playing a game.. I was so mad! But I guess that's the way it goes..

I am definitely getting the "new mom syndrome", even though I am the oldest of 4, and was always a helper to my mom, BEING a mom is totally different. I cannot wait to meet this little baby of mine.

Everyday has its ups and downs though, and as reality starts to really sink in, it is hard. I think about how I would so much rather know that I have a house of my own to go home to, a husband, a college degree, a nest to settle into.. Instead of worrying about where Baby and I are going to live, how I will be able to survive with no income coming in while I am on maternity leave. I have to remember that the Lord is taking care of me and how proud He is of me for choosing LIFE in a culture where death has become accepted. "I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.."(romans 8:38) And He will make sure "everything comes together the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (romans 8:28). This is what I have to repeat to myself all day! But it works.. cause God is GOOD!!!! and I just want people to see His goodness and his love! ahh!

Anyway, I am about 5 months down, and about 4 months to go! So stay tuned!!

Wooohoo!

Peace, Love and Child!

xoxoox

m.