Wednesday, June 22, 2011

"that little..."

Love Child! approx. 20 weeks!

You know when you've been anticipating something for a while, and then it comes down to the very second before and its like.. OHhhh to bad!.. guess you'll have to wait...another 4 MONTHS!

Well I got my 19 week ultrasound, and the sex remains unknown! But everything went really well, baby is very healthy and very active! I've been feeling little kicks here and there and that is so crazy! It was so neat to see my child just rollin around inside my tummy. Baby was trying to stick its hand in its mouth (but they cannot consciously do that at this age) and it was getting so frustrated and would open up its little mouth and cry and then kick me really hard. ha ha! Love child was being very difficult that day, every time we went to check out 'in between' the legs, baby would cross them really quick. And also the umbilical cord was between the legs. There was no hope, it was as if the baby was playing a game.. I was so mad! But I guess that's the way it goes..

I am definitely getting the "new mom syndrome", even though I am the oldest of 4, and was always a helper to my mom, BEING a mom is totally different. I cannot wait to meet this little baby of mine.

Everyday has its ups and downs though, and as reality starts to really sink in, it is hard. I think about how I would so much rather know that I have a house of my own to go home to, a husband, a college degree, a nest to settle into.. Instead of worrying about where Baby and I are going to live, how I will be able to survive with no income coming in while I am on maternity leave. I have to remember that the Lord is taking care of me and how proud He is of me for choosing LIFE in a culture where death has become accepted. "I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love.."(romans 8:38) And He will make sure "everything comes together the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose" (romans 8:28). This is what I have to repeat to myself all day! But it works.. cause God is GOOD!!!! and I just want people to see His goodness and his love! ahh!

Anyway, I am about 5 months down, and about 4 months to go! So stay tuned!!


Peace, Love and Child!



Saturday, June 18, 2011

Blue or Pink??

18 weeks, 3 days. 2nd Trimester.

So here we are.. a few months after my first post. I promise I'll get a hang of this.

I am 3 days away from finding out the sex of my little Love Child! So excited. I figure if I was married and more well off, I could stand a surprise, but I have so much to prepare for, I'm ready to find out whether this little being inside of me has a penis or vagina!! Ha Ha! Of course I'd be ecstatic either way, but I am personally hoping for a boy. And I have my reasons...

Growing up as the oldest of four, 3 girls, and the youngest a boy. So far, it seems boys are alot easier to deal with. I guess it is all a mater of opionion. But I'm sorry, when it comes to the pre-teen, teenage girl, I want nothing to do with them. Even though that was me only a couple years ago. My sisters (currently 14 and 17) are litterally driving me to hell and back with all the drama, not just in their lives, but in all their friends lives, and their friends-friends-friends life.. Its too much. I'd much rather put on my rainboots and ripped clothes and go bushwacking thru the woods with Joseph (my 10 year old brother) to find the 'invading enemy', a dead tree to chop down, or a deer antler to bring back to my dad. Girls make everything so complicated, anylizing every little detail of every little thing. But boys can also complicate things, at least in my experience, thinking they "know it all". All in all, Im praying for a little "guy" . A little daniel boone who wants to explore the world with his momma.

Soon enough I'll know. And soon enough I'll be up to my elbows in breast milk, poopy diapers, and onsies, running on no sleep and no money. But I am doing everything I can now to help prepare myself to be the best mom I can be. I just cant wait to know true love. Because the day that that baby emerges out of me, I know there will be no turning back, nothing else in the world will be able to seperate us at that moment because of love. I get chills just thinking about it. I guess it is just something everyone will have to experience for themselves.

Peace, Love, Child..

xoo marym.

"we make plans and God laughs, set goals and do your best and laugh with him" -aunt heather