Thursday, April 28, 2011

in the begining..

what came first the chicken or the egg? that is probably not the best way to start a blog... so pause, delete, rewind that..

My name is Mary Michaela, I am a 20 year old single female. I believe I am more of a girl than I am a woman. But that's besides the point that I recently found myself in a bit of a predicament about 2 months ago, to be exact 7 weeks and 5 days. During the early hours of March 5th 2011, between my middle finger and thumb I held my first, second, then third, and finally fourth pregnancy test, each one with a little purple plus sign. Knowing what this meant and naturally being myself I immediately go into a state of panic followed by a state of complete and utter disbelief. And for the next few days I continue to disagree with truth, but knowing somewhere deep down in me there is a little jelly bean of a fetus sucking up every last bit of life i have.

Well thank God that day is over, because the initial shock of any disappointingly-surprising moment is never fun. I am on the road to exposure as I continue to tell family members, friends, bosses, co-workers, and repent to God for not only my sinful actions but blatantly knowing what I was doing was unhealthy and harmful to my life, my body, my brain! "Rolling drugs sex rock"...not a healthy motto or way to live. Trust me, I don't think I've ever been so healthy in my life as I am now being 3 months pregnant.

That being said, I have dedicated this blog to my parents, because I was their "Love Child", and that is what I will call my little jelly bean... until further notice.

I have received so much support and love from my community which helps me everyday. Because I should be traveling the world, journaling, serving people in need, caring for young girls in the sex-trade, making sea shell necklaces, helping deliver babies, designing soft and sexy lingerie, or teaching young children how to paint and create in school, because these are all things that I could imagine myself doing. But for now, or for life, I will put those things aside and focus on "Love Child".

This is my journey, my thoughts, my world plus one. Join me..

Peace, Love, Child.