something beautiful

Me and Amanda Anderson, a bestie.

I am 21 weeks and she is 25 wks! Amanda's having a baby girl!!

Change never ceases does it? Everyday, every hour, minute, second; we're breathing air we've never breathed before, thinking thoughts we've never thought, praying prayers we've never prayed and taking steps we've never taken. We are constantly changing and evolving, no matter how aware of it we may be.

I, for one, am definitely learning so much, mainly how to manage my emotions! It's scary, because for some reason I feel more empowered, it must be these crazy hormones. But I find myself constantly trying to bring myself back down to reality by doing some deep breathing. (Haha ☺) Cause oh my goodness, I've encountered a lot lately that makes me way so worked up, which often leads to an adrenaline crash, and I find myself crying or upset over the silliest thing. Stress gets to me way to easily. Anxiety is my prevalent rival. I want it dead and gone in my life, and it is going.I have begun to really deal with the distractions and strongholds in my life, so that I can be every more attentive and walking in the fullness of who I am called to be for when my child comes! Yay!! I guess I just want to do the very best I can, and I am confident I will.

The Lord has offered us so much mercy, solutions, love; He is THE solution! It’s just a matter of letting go and trusting him, that’s the real test. I’m faced with this, um lets see… EVERYDAY! We all are. But there is so much grace!! Whats that saying…? that if at first you don’t succeed… try try again. ya..

That is really why I love this life. Its full of challenges, hardships, and turmoil, that are more than often turned into victories, goodness, beauty, LIFE!! But I do want to be clear that what I am experiencing, being 21, single, living with my parents, 5 months pregnant. This is NOT a tragedy, yes it will be difficult, but it’s not a tragedy. I’ve experienced tragedy, I’ve seen darkness, and grieved for months, over the loss of friends that have taken their life, or their life was taken from them. And so often people treat my situation like it’s a tragedy. People have written me saying ‘I am so sorry, this must be so hard for you’, ‘your life is over’, ‘how will you go on’. NO NO NO!! This happened because God knew I could handle it. He has entrusted me with a child to raise and nurture, in a safe place, in a little town, with SO much support. With my parents who trust Him! My parents that love me and try their best everyday to do everything possible to make me comfortable and worry-free! God sees the honor and the love. I hope that my story someday will be something that touches a life, or many lives. My heart is to be there for those in need. For young girls who need a good and strong influence in their life, a safe place, a teacher, or a sister. Whatever it may be, I hope that people start to see what this really is. Another amazing masterpiece, something so beautifully orchestrated, nothing that could be comprehended by human mind.

But… That is my God. Making everything beautiful just in time. How could I ask for more…

Peace, Love, Child.

xoxoxo

Mary Michaela

rejuvenation (noun)—the act of restoring to a more youthful condition

by Mary Michaela Silva '09